Soapbox Rant

I will tell you now that some of you will not like reading this rant.  If you are not an Atlanta Braves fan, you will want to stop reading right now.

 

I am a diehard Braves fan.  I love this team with a passion.  Since I can remember, the Braves have always been my team.  I was born in 1972.  The first team that I can remember included players like Dale Murphy, Biff Pocoroba, Rick Camp, Jerry Royster, Phil Niekro, and Cito Gaston.  One of my favorite teams was the team of 1984 that included Dale Murphy, Steve Bedrosian, Rick Camp, Rick Mahler, Craig McMurtry, Bob Horner, Glenn Hubbard, Chris Chambliss, Bruce Benedict, Rafael Ramirez, Claudell Washington, Brad Komminsk, etc.  I could probably name more Braves or former Braves than most people.  I have spent more years defending my Braves - who were continually in last place or close to it - than most people.

 

Now that you know my history, let me get started with my rant.  I am so damn sick and tired of ESPN and every other supposedly sports "professional" putting down my team.  Calling MY team a laughing stock and ninnies.  That is just quoting on article.  Let me tell you something.  I respect the Braves more than any other team because they respect baseball.  PERIOD.

 

I do not respect the Los Angeles Dodgers for several reasons.  One - Puig.  You DO NOT show up your opposing team when you hit a SINGLE.  He showboats no matter what he does.  And when he gets thrown out or strikes out or hit by a pitch, he acts like a 2 year old.  That is not respect.  Two - you DO NOT announce to a stadium full of people before the FOURTH game of a playoff series welcome to the FINAL game of the playoff series.  That puts down the other team and is unprofessional.

 

Those of you who continually put down one of the most consistently winning team in all of baseball have a problem.  You do not know what the hell you are talking about. 

 

Take a look at most other teams in baseball, then take a look at the Braves.  Not stats.  Not win loss records.  Look at the players.  What do you see?  You see clean cut young men.  Do you see long dreadlocks?  NO.  Do you see outrageous jewelry? NO.  Do you see unkempt facial hair down to the lettering on their jerseys?  NO.  You don't see thugs.  You don't see people who look like they could be in a gang.  You see baseball players.  Real baseball players who get absolutely  no respect from any other team or so called professionals in the sport. 

 

Why is the question.  The only thing this team ask for is RESPECT.  Is that too much?  No, it isn't.  Especially when there is a team that deserves it so much. 

 

The Atlanta Braves are the "red headed step-child" of Major League Baseball.  What do I say to that?  I say Major League Baseball better get used to the Braves being a top team.  We're not going anywhere.  What do I say to ESPN?  I say ESPN SUCKS and they are the top unprofessional sports reporters in the industry.  Suck it up buttercups and realize that the Braves are professionals.  The Braves are respectful.  The Braves are one of the best teams around.  This team has earned respect and they demand respect.    Respect is what you should be giving them.

 

OK.  End of rant.  But not the end of me being completely pissed off by the treatment of the Atlanta Braves by the mistreatment of my team.

Tribute To The Flag

I Love This Town

Finding Myself... Day 1 of the Search

September 1, 2013...

 

Today, I start the hunt.

 

I am hunting for me.

 

In the past several years, I feel that I have lost myself.  I have been busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and patient, that I feel that I have lost myself in the shuffle.

 

I love being a wife, mother, and daughter.  I love my family more than I can ever say.  But, I have been a wife for 22 years.  I have been a mother for 21 years and now both of my daughters are adults.  I have been a daughter for 41 years.

 

It is the other thing that I am that bothers me.  A patient.  It was 15 years ago that I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  I started out just trying to control it with diet and exercise.  That graduated to taking oral medication.  Now, I take oral medication and inject insulin.  Other than diabetes, I also suffer from fibromyalgia, migraines, diabetic neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy, and sarcoidosis.

 

Sometimes I feel like I am defined by my health and diseases.  I am more than that.  That is why I need to find myself and redefine myself.

 

Today, I start my journey at 5'2" and 200.6 pounds.  My goal is to be down at least 50 pounds in 6 months.  That is a little less than 10 pounds a month.  That is feasible.  I do not want to set impossible goals and get discouraged when I can not reach my goals.

 

I plan to start out slow.  I have a home gym of sorts that contains kettlebells, wii fit, a recumbent bike, a treadmill, and a free standing punching bag.  I plan to set up a schedule.  With my constant migraines, fibromyalgia, and sarcoidosis, exercise is sometimes just too overwhelming.  But, I have to push myself.  Just not too hard.

 

I can and I will do this.  I need to find myself.  Any positive thoughts and prayers that you can send this way will always be appreciated.  Thank you.

 

 

I'm Back

Sorry everyone... I haven't posted anything in over a week.  I apologize.  I have not been feeling well and could barely sit up.  I'm going to catch up on my posting tonight.  Since my last post, there has been the season finale of Hell's Kitchen.  Another project runway.  And two more people are gone from Master Chef.  Lots of catching up to do.  I will post again tonight.

Guilty (and not so guilty) Pleasures

I have three guilty pleasures in life.  Well, I take that back.  I have two guilty pleasures, and one that I take extreme pride in.

My first guilty pleasure is reality television cooking shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, Chopped, etc.  I love cooking and learning about different types of ingredients and different ways to cook things.  However, that is only one of the reasons I watch these shows.  Another reason is I like to see different types of people and personalities and learn about them.

My second guilty pleasure is reality design shows such as Project Runway.  For as long as I can remember, I have always liked to try to be innovative and creative.  I have a sewing machine and a separate embroidery machine.  I love to design t-shirts, hand bags, baby clothes, and stuff like that.  Nothing on the scale of what is designed on Project Runway, but it gives me ideas.  And, again, I like to see different types of personalities - especially the creative ones - interact.

My third not so guilty pleasure is ATLANTA BRAVES BASEBALL...  I can write a whole blog about just this subject.  Not just the recent teams or the winning teams, but about the teams of the late 70's and throughout the 80's.  I have always been a fan.

Back to my first guilty pleasure - cooking shows.  Let me dissect the two that are really going on right now.  Master Chef and Hell's Kitchen.  The following opinions are my opinion and I respect the fact that everyone has their own opinions and their own favorites. 

• Hell's Kitchen - On tonight's episode (spoiler alert if you haven't seen it) Mary was named as one of the finalist and Cyndi was sent home.  I agree with both of these moves.  When the season started Mary was probably my least favorite.  I did not think she was strong enough or assertive enough to be a head chef.  She has grown and matured and I have found myself strongly rooting for her.  
• That leaves Jon and Ja'nel.  To be continued until next week.  We don't know who will join Mary in the final until then.  For me, it is a toss up.  Jon has been my favorite since week one, but he has seemed to plateau.  He did an awful job of running the pass when it was his turn.  With Ja'nel, I haven't liked her at all since week 1.  Her attitude has turned me off.  To be a leader, you still have to be part of a team, and she doesn't seem to want to work WITH people.  So, I believe it is a toss up on who will go against Mary, but I truly hope that Jon does.
• Master Chef - Wow.  I don't know where to go with this one.  At the start of the season, my one favorite chef was Krissi because she seemed so real.  And as a mom, I can relate for her wanting to win in order to provide a better life for her son.  However, you can win with grace and you can lose with grace, and she hasn't done either.  She has turned into a bully and bullies should never be rewarded.  I'm also not a fan of Natasha.  She just thinks she is this absolutely gorgeous creature who can also cook.  I do not think that either description applies to her.  Right now, I would place money on either Jordan, Eddie, or Bri to win it.  I think it would be terrific if Bri, the vegetarian, won it.  I always like pulling for the underdog.

Onto my thoughts on Project Runway.  Season 12 premiered tonight.  I haven't really had a chance to form opinions on the contestants.  No one really struck me as being a front runner in the first challenge.  In fact, there were several that I would not have minded at all if they had went home tonight.  I have, however, already formed an opinion of three that I do not like.

• Timothy Westbrook.  I understand wanting to be a designer that respects the environment.  However, there is a moment when you can take it too far.  Not allowing your model to wear makeup.  Not allowing her to have her hair done because the hairdresser uses electronics to style.  Not allowing her to have any product in her hair.  Sending her down the runway barefoot while you (yes, this is a male) is standing on the runway in 6 inch, gold glittery heels.  AND - and one of the judges pointed this out - using a lighter to burn parachute material to give it a certain look knowing that that fire and smoke send chemicals into the air.  Which is something you are standing there claiming to care about.  No, this designer, I do not like.
• Miranda Levy.  This girl is good, but she needs to obey the rules.  This was an unconventional materials challenge and she just thumbed her nose at the judges - and Tim - by doing it her way and not listening.  I think she should have been disqualified and sent home.  It was not fair to the other designers.
• Sandro Masmanidi - When your model is ashamed to walk down the runway because the outfit you have put her in is shorter than her vagina, you really have no place on this show.  The taste level is just not there.

I will reserve the right to name a favorite, for now.  I have not seen anything that has made me want to endorse any one competitor.  The season is still very young.

One last thing before I go .....  GO BRAVES !!!!!  I'm sure I will be blogging more and more about this team.  Win or lose, they are my favorite.  I don't jump on bandwagons, I support a team that I have always believed in.

Diabetic Neuropathy

I am sitting here listening to a soft, melodic tone.  I am exhausted.  Last night was one of the worst nights I have had in a VERY long time.

For me, the worst part of all of my health problems is the neuropathy.  When your muscles and joints ache, Tylenol or ibuprophen will usually do the trick.  When you are dealing with neuropathy, it is a whole new ball game.

I've had people ask me "what, exactly, is diabetic neuropathy and what does it feel like?"  Well, to answer the second part of that first.... it feels like a million fire ants crawling and stinging all over my legs, feet, and hands.  That is where I feel it most.  It is a burning, searing pain.  At times, it feels like electrical impulses shooting throughout my body.  As for what it is.... it took me a while to understand that. 

One of the major complications of having diabetes is neuropathy.  Doctors seem to think that it comes from having abnormally high blood sugars for an extended period of time.  As a result of the high blood sugar levels, the nerves in the body are damaged.  The damaged nerves can be painful.  In some people, the pain is very minimal.  In some cases it can be severe.  In my case, most days it is very severe.  On a pain scale of 1 to 10, like they ask you in hospitals and doctor's offices, mine was a 25 last night.  And this is coming from a woman, who at 19, had a baby the all natural way.  Of course, my neuropathy is compounded with my fibromyalgia - which is deep muscle and joint pain.  So, I am pretty much screwed.

My pain is usually worse at night.  When I lay down and try to relax and go to sleep, it becomes pretty intense.  In the past month, it seems to have gotten even worse.  In that time, I have probably had two decent nights sleep.  That is not a good thing.

I do not like to bitch and moan about my health problems.  I like to try to live with it and have a life.  However, every now and then, I just have to talk about it.  It is the only thing that keeps me sane at times.

Life's Passions

     Two of my passions in life (outside of my children and family) have always been photography and cooking.  When I started having all of my health problems, especially the loss of vision, I didn't think I would enjoy either one ever again.  I will not say that I was wrong, but I will say that I was pleasantly surprised.

     For the longest time, I refused to even pick up a camera.  It was a reminder of what I was losing or what I had already lost.  However, my husband refused to let me just lay down and give up.  He took me on a road trip through the North Georgia mountains.  He made me take my camera.  When I did not want to get out of the car to take a picture, he made me.  He made me see that just because my left eye wasn't working, I still had a partially good eye and imagination that would help me take some damn good pictures.  He was right.  My pictures may not be as good as they once were, but it makes me feel better when I am taking them.  My favorite pictures to take are wildlife, landscapes, and sports.  A sample of my work is below.  I am considering making a photo book with stories to sell to help me with some of my medical expenses.

     Now, about my other passion.... COOKING.  I have found a whole different type of joy in this pursuit.  I love being creative and putting together my own recipes.  My kids call these "mommy concoctions."  However, now, they help me with the cooking and the recipes.  For most of the time, they have to do most of the work.  Even though I do have good days, a lot of days the headaches and vision are so bad, that I cannot do a lot.

     Even though my daughters are now 18 and 21, (and the 18 year old is a "vegetarian") getting them to eat vegetables and eat healthy is a chore.  However, last night, for the first time, I succeeded in getting both of my daughters and my husband to eat Zucchini for the first time.  Here is how I did it.

•      I cut the zucchini into large chunks and put the chunks in a sauce pan with chopped up onion and bell pepper.  Seasoned the water with salt.  Let the mixture come to a rolling boil, and let it boil for 30 minutes.  So the zucchini was incredibly tender.
•      After draining the mixture, I put a stick of butter into the pot and let it melt.
•      Using my immersion blender, I mixed the melted butter, vegetables, 2 cups of shredded cheese, a quarter cup of mayonnaise, and one egg together.  When that was sufficiently mixed, I added a packet of Stove Top Savory Herb stuffing mixture into the pot and mixed it all together.
•      Finally, I placed the mixture in a casserole dish.  Cooked it for 30 minutes at 350.  For the final 5 minutes of cook time, I placed French friend onions on the top. 

 

     I told everyone it was stuffing - leaving out the part that it had zucchini, onions, and peppers in it.  And everyone loved it.  The entire thing was eaten.  This was my own version of "semi-homemade" cooking.  I do this quiet often and I don't write down the recipes.  However, when something goes over this well, I have to remember it.

     



A baby elk.  Taken in the Great Smoky Mountains close to Cherokee, NC.  Taken after I had surgery on my left eye.



Baby black bear cub.  Taken in Cades Cove, TN in the Great Smoky Mountains.  Taken before my surgery.

Pet Peeves #1

I am going to take this moment to get up on my soap box and speak out about a couple of  my pet peeves.

I am NOT a "grammar Nazi," but come on people.  It is not that hard to proofread things before you post them online.  Spell check cannot help you when the word you type is an actually word.  It cannot tell you that you are using it in the wrong context.  Here are three on the biggest offenders that I see online everyday.
 
1) Your versus You're. 
              YOUR means that it belongs to you.  It is your car.  It is your house.  It is your dictionary and you should use it. 
              YOU'RE is a contraction that means YOU ARE.  You're a dumbass.  You're using the wrong spelling.  You're a high school graduate?

2) There vs. They're vs. Their.
                THERE is a place.  Put in there.  He lives there.  There is where you park the car.
                THEY'RE is a contraction that marries THEY ARE.  They're going to the movies  They're getting married.  
                 THEIR means belonging the them.  It is their place.  It is their car.  It is their dictionary, learn to use it.

3) One vs. Won
                 One is a number.  There is one brain cell left in his head.  He only had one drink.  He scored one run.
                 Won means that you or someone else has been victorious.  He won the spelling bee.  The Braves won the game.  I won the lottery - in my dreams.

Ok.  Soapbox rant is over.  Too often we - as a whole - depend way too much on our computers and spellcheck.  Spell check is not all knowing and all seeing.  It can tell you if a word is spelled wrong or not, but it cannot tell you if you are using the word in the wrong context.  Turn off spellcheck and keep your brain sharp.

This Is Me... This is Who I Am...

Writing a blog.  This is new.  I know many of the people who read this blog will not know who I am.  So, let me introduce myself to you.

 

To start with, I am a 41 year old mom of two girls.  My "girls" are aged 18 and 21.  I graduated high school in 1990 and in 1991, I married my high school sweetheart.  That was 22 years ago, and we're still married and we have managed to raise two wonderful girls.  While I love my husband and our girls, our lives have not always been sunshine and roses.  Life has been a roller coaster with unbelievable highs and unbearable lows.  That is why I call my blog "Through Tears and Laughter" because that is all I know.  Sometimes the laughter has been to cover up the tears.  That is how I was raised.

My mother and father are both still living.  They have been married now for 57 years.  I am the last of 7 children.  The oldest child is 56 and the youngest (next to me) is 49.  Then there is me.  I am 41.  There are three boys and four girls.  One of my nephews always like to say that I broke up "The Brady Bunch."

Speaking of my nephew... I have LOTS of nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews.  At last count, I believe the total was 30.  But I am always leaving someone off when I do the count.  Don't even ask me how many aunts, uncles, and cousins I have.  I could not even begin to count them all.  My mom and dad both come from large families.

When I got married, right after high school, I did not have a chance to go to college.  To be honest, even if I could have, I don't think I would.  At that time, I really didn't have any idea what I wanted to do with my life.  I was working in childcare when I got married and I worked in that profession for several years.  Until my second daughter was born.  I worked my way up from assistant teacher to assistant director.  However, I knew that was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  When I left that job, I went to work as an office manager and found that I liked that job.

In 2003; while I was working a full time job and had two young girls at home, I went back to school.  I started off by getting  my Associates in Accounting in 2005 and then continued on to get my Bachelors in Business Administration in 2008.  I took full course loads while working full-time.  It wasn't easy, but then, nothing worth having and fighting for is ever easy.

Then, in 2009, the tears really started to fall and didn't let up.  

 

I had been diagnosed with diabetes in 1998.  I changed my diet, started exercising, and went on oral medication.  That wasn't enough.  In 2009, I started having migraines.  After several trips to the doctor and ER, it was traced back to my diabetes and my medication was increased.  Early in 2010, I started having chest pains.  Severe enough for my husband to rush me to the ER.  I spent two nights in the hospital and had many test in and out of the hospital.  After having a PetScan, it was suggested that I have a biopsy because there was the possibility of lung cancer.  Thankfully, I didn't have cancer, but I was eventually diagnosed with sarcoidosis.  Put on a regimen of oral steroids and breathing treatments.

If you don't have diabetes, you will not know this.  In fact, I didn't know it, until the sarcoidosis diagnosis.  Prednisone - the oral steroid prescribed to me - can make your blood sugar levels go crazy.  My diabetes was no longer under control.  This was all too apparent very early in 2011.  

 

Sitting at home one night, watching television with my family, I had a searing pain shoot through my head and then I felt different.  The left side of my face started drooping and I was slurring my speech.  Another rush to the ER.  I thought I was having a stroke.  It wasn't a stroke.  It was a Bell's Palsy attack.  Again, something I had never heard of.  It commonly strikes people with diabetes and sarcoidosis.  Yay.  Something else to worry about.  Another night in the hospital and new medicines and a new doctor.  Now, I was seeing a neurologist in addition to the pulmonologist and my regular doctor.  However, that was not enough.

Later on in 2011, I had another trip to the hospital with chest pains and a pulse rate over 160.  This time, it was a week in the hospital.  More test than I can count.  When I left the hospital, I had three more oral medications and TWO different insulins.  So, now, I am an insulin dependent diabetic.

In between all of the major issues, I was also diagnosed with sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, diabetic neuropathy, and high blood pressure.

Then in 2012, I woke up one morning and I had no vision in my left eye.  After several visits and test, it was determined that I had diabetic retinopathy.  I had laser surgery on my right eye to stop the bleeding in it.  However, there was far too much damage done to the left eye, including a detached retina.  I had invasive surgery on my left eye in July of 2012.  As of right now, I have no measurable vision in my left eye.  The bleeding in the right eye is getting worse and at this time, I have 20/100 vision in that eye.

Through all of these problems, in such a short time, I also lost my job due to the health problems I was having. 

I explain all of this to you, not to gain sympathy, but for you to understand me.  At times, I will feel sorry for myself and get down and depressed.  Those are the days that I cannot stop crying and I have to smile through the pain and tears.  But, those days are few and far between.  Though I am unable to do most of what I enjoy or used to enjoy such as driving through the mountains and taking pictures, and I have to have my computer text magnified 200 percent, I am not giving up.  I have my life.  I have my children.  I have my family.  

Through pain comes strength.  Without sadness, you would never know happiness.  Without heartbreak, you would never know love.  Without tears, you would never know the true meaning of laughter.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog and I hope you share it with friends and family member that might enjoy it also.

I look forward to meeting you and taking you through a journey with me.