Writing a blog. This is new. I know many of the people who read this blog will not know who I am. So, let me introduce myself to you.
To start with, I am a 41 year old mom of two girls. My "girls" are aged 18 and 21. I graduated high school in 1990 and in 1991, I married my high school sweetheart. That was 22 years ago, and we're still married and we have managed to raise two wonderful girls. While I love my husband and our girls, our lives have not always been sunshine and roses. Life has been a roller coaster with unbelievable highs and unbearable lows. That is why I call my blog "Through Tears and Laughter" because that is all I know. Sometimes the laughter has been to cover up the tears. That is how I was raised.
My mother and father are both still living. They have been married now for 57 years. I am the last of 7 children. The oldest child is 56 and the youngest (next to me) is 49. Then there is me. I am 41. There are three boys and four girls. One of my nephews always like to say that I broke up "The Brady Bunch."
Speaking of my nephew... I have LOTS of nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews. At last count, I believe the total was 30. But I am always leaving someone off when I do the count. Don't even ask me how many aunts, uncles, and cousins I have. I could not even begin to count them all. My mom and dad both come from large families.
When I got married, right after high school, I did not have a chance to go to college. To be honest, even if I could have, I don't think I would. At that time, I really didn't have any idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was working in childcare when I got married and I worked in that profession for several years. Until my second daughter was born. I worked my way up from assistant teacher to assistant director. However, I knew that was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. When I left that job, I went to work as an office manager and found that I liked that job.
In 2003; while I was working a full time job and had two young girls at home, I went back to school. I started off by getting my Associates in Accounting in 2005 and then continued on to get my Bachelors in Business Administration in 2008. I took full course loads while working full-time. It wasn't easy, but then, nothing worth having and fighting for is ever easy.
Then, in 2009, the tears really started to fall and didn't let up.
I had been diagnosed with diabetes in 1998. I changed my diet, started exercising, and went on oral medication. That wasn't enough. In 2009, I started having migraines. After several trips to the doctor and ER, it was traced back to my diabetes and my medication was increased. Early in 2010, I started having chest pains. Severe enough for my husband to rush me to the ER. I spent two nights in the hospital and had many test in and out of the hospital. After having a PetScan, it was suggested that I have a biopsy because there was the possibility of lung cancer. Thankfully, I didn't have cancer, but I was eventually diagnosed with sarcoidosis. Put on a regimen of oral steroids and breathing treatments.
If you don't have diabetes, you will not know this. In fact, I didn't know it, until the sarcoidosis diagnosis. Prednisone - the oral steroid prescribed to me - can make your blood sugar levels go crazy. My diabetes was no longer under control. This was all too apparent very early in 2011.
Sitting at home one night, watching television with my family, I had a searing pain shoot through my head and then I felt different. The left side of my face started drooping and I was slurring my speech. Another rush to the ER. I thought I was having a stroke. It wasn't a stroke. It was a Bell's Palsy attack. Again, something I had never heard of. It commonly strikes people with diabetes and sarcoidosis. Yay. Something else to worry about. Another night in the hospital and new medicines and a new doctor. Now, I was seeing a neurologist in addition to the pulmonologist and my regular doctor. However, that was not enough.
Later on in 2011, I had another trip to the hospital with chest pains and a pulse rate over 160. This time, it was a week in the hospital. More test than I can count. When I left the hospital, I had three more oral medications and TWO different insulins. So, now, I am an insulin dependent diabetic.
In between all of the major issues, I was also diagnosed with sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, diabetic neuropathy, and high blood pressure.
Then in 2012, I woke up one morning and I had no vision in my left eye. After several visits and test, it was determined that I had diabetic retinopathy. I had laser surgery on my right eye to stop the bleeding in it. However, there was far too much damage done to the left eye, including a detached retina. I had invasive surgery on my left eye in July of 2012. As of right now, I have no measurable vision in my left eye. The bleeding in the right eye is getting worse and at this time, I have 20/100 vision in that eye.
Through all of these problems, in such a short time, I also lost my job due to the health problems I was having.
I explain all of this to you, not to gain sympathy, but for you to understand me. At times, I will feel sorry for myself and get down and depressed. Those are the days that I cannot stop crying and I have to smile through the pain and tears. But, those days are few and far between. Though I am unable to do most of what I enjoy or used to enjoy such as driving through the mountains and taking pictures, and I have to have my computer text magnified 200 percent, I am not giving up. I have my life. I have my children. I have my family.
Through pain comes strength. Without sadness, you would never know happiness. Without heartbreak, you would never know love. Without tears, you would never know the true meaning of laughter.
I hope you enjoy reading this blog and I hope you share it with friends and family member that might enjoy it also.
I look forward to meeting you and taking you through a journey with me.
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