September 1, 2013...
Today, I start the hunt.
I am hunting for me.
In the past several years, I feel that I have lost myself. I have been busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and patient, that I feel that I have lost myself in the shuffle.
I love being a wife, mother, and daughter. I love my family more than I can ever say. But, I have been a wife for 22 years. I have been a mother for 21 years and now both of my daughters are adults. I have been a daughter for 41 years.
It is the other thing that I am that bothers me. A patient. It was 15 years ago that I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I started out just trying to control it with diet and exercise. That graduated to taking oral medication. Now, I take oral medication and inject insulin. Other than diabetes, I also suffer from fibromyalgia, migraines, diabetic neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy, and sarcoidosis.
Sometimes I feel like I am defined by my health and diseases. I am more than that. That is why I need to find myself and redefine myself.
Today, I start my journey at 5'2" and 200.6 pounds. My goal is to be down at least 50 pounds in 6 months. That is a little less than 10 pounds a month. That is feasible. I do not want to set impossible goals and get discouraged when I can not reach my goals.
I plan to start out slow. I have a home gym of sorts that contains kettlebells, wii fit, a recumbent bike, a treadmill, and a free standing punching bag. I plan to set up a schedule. With my constant migraines, fibromyalgia, and sarcoidosis, exercise is sometimes just too overwhelming. But, I have to push myself. Just not too hard.
I can and I will do this. I need to find myself. Any positive thoughts and prayers that you can send this way will always be appreciated. Thank you.
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