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Finding Myself... Day 1 of the Search

September 1, 2013...

 

Today, I start the hunt.

 

I am hunting for me.

 

In the past several years, I feel that I have lost myself.  I have been busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and patient, that I feel that I have lost myself in the shuffle.

 

I love being a wife, mother, and daughter.  I love my family more than I can ever say.  But, I have been a wife for 22 years.  I have been a mother for 21 years and now both of my daughters are adults.  I have been a daughter for 41 years.

 

It is the other thing that I am that bothers me.  A patient.  It was 15 years ago that I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  I started out just trying to control it with diet and exercise.  That graduated to taking oral medication.  Now, I take oral medication and inject insulin.  Other than diabetes, I also suffer from fibromyalgia, migraines, diabetic neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy, and sarcoidosis.

 

Sometimes I feel like I am defined by my health and diseases.  I am more than that.  That is why I need to find myself and redefine myself.

 

Today, I start my journey at 5'2" and 200.6 pounds.  My goal is to be down at least 50 pounds in 6 months.  That is a little less than 10 pounds a month.  That is feasible.  I do not want to set impossible goals and get discouraged when I can not reach my goals.

 

I plan to start out slow.  I have a home gym of sorts that contains kettlebells, wii fit, a recumbent bike, a treadmill, and a free standing punching bag.  I plan to set up a schedule.  With my constant migraines, fibromyalgia, and sarcoidosis, exercise is sometimes just too overwhelming.  But, I have to push myself.  Just not too hard.

 

I can and I will do this.  I need to find myself.  Any positive thoughts and prayers that you can send this way will always be appreciated.  Thank you.